Laura and Sburbing
by OrdinaryComix
Summary: Really a fic for Learning and Sburbing ( /s/10800514/34/Learning-and-Sburbing ), but that is an HS fic, so this still has HS characters. Follows Laura Destinee Forgotten as she exits a strange portal and enters the world of Sburb Highschool.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: The amazing stacy-ampora-strider-ampora gave me permission to write a fic of the equally amazing Learning and Sburbing, so I'm going to take advantage of that opportunity. Keep in mind that this is not canon to LaS, just my interpretation of the characters.

My name is Laura. My last name is Forgotten, but I try not to bring that up. Just doesn't seem very punk rock, you know? Because that's what I'm all about, punk rock. Man, I'm so punk rock I fight the man by working at a library. Now that's how you really do anarchy, by fucking them up from the inside.

At least, that's how it was. I have a suspicion that's not how it's going to be anymore. 'Cause I just stumbled through this portal and now I'm in god knows where. When it showed up in the storeroom, I thought about telling the boss. But then I realized, punk rock isn't about telling the boss. Even if it's about a possible gate leading down to the bowels of hell. Instead I just had some fucked up dream about a desert planet and then woke up here.

Speaking of which, here is okay. There's plants and shit, which is a definite improvement from that last place. Then I notice Stacia here, which is how I know how I'm still dreaming. Girl disappeared a week or two ago. No way in hell she'd be in wherever the hell we are now.

Anyway first thing she does is run up to me. "Laura!" she screamed. "How is this happening? How are you here? I thought the Earth blew up!" She paused to catch her breath. "How are you even here?!" she repeated.

"Whoa, chill out." At this rate she was about to have a heart attack. Even if she was just a dream Stacia, it's not cool to just go around killing your friends. I could tell she was about to burst from the pent up questions, so I asked her to give me a tour of wherever the fuck we were. She practically squealed with delight. I'm telling you, something is wrong with that girl.

We walked around a bit until we arrived at a class. "This is Mr. Hussies room." she told me. "I'm not really sure what he teaches. I've only been in his class once, and he just wrote a bunch of numbers on the board and then said class was over because Vriska wanted to go. I think he's fucking her"

"Man, what the fuck is up with this school? And isn't that illegal? Or do they have different rules here on this shitty alien planet?"

"Well, no, it's different, because the trolls have quadrants."

"What the hell are quadrants?" I got the feeling that I had just barely seen the tip of the colossal iceberg of horseshit this highschool had to offer.

"Well, there are four quadrants, so they have four loves, and they're all different, and each one is with a different person, and-"

"Yeah, nevermind. I'm feeling a bit too punk rock for the E.T. sex talk right now." We turned a corner and almost bumped into some old guy.

"Oh I see that the new student I heard about is finally here." He stared at me with this weird look in his eyes. "Except this one is a bit… mature for the highschool." He kept staring and licked his lips a little.

"Hey Stacia." I whispered under my breath.

"What?"

"Let's blow this joint." She looked at me in confusion. I gestured with my hand, which I had positioned behind my back. I started counting down with my fingers: five, four, three, two, one. On zero I lifted up my shirt, flashed my tits, and pushed him over. I didn't get to see any more his reaction though, as I was busy running like hell down the hallway. I looked over my shoulder to see what Stacia was doing. The idiot was just standing there, alternating between looking at the old guy and me, a shocked expression plastered upon her face.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing? You want to be stuck back here when he finally manages to stand up again?" That managed to shake her out of her revelry, and she started running after me. After a few minutes, a few random turns, and a couple instances of almost knocking people over, I found myself in an outdoorsy type area. There was a bench nearby, so I sat down to catch my breath, still making sure I'd be able to get up in a pinch if I needed to.

It was then that I heard a voice coming from a nearby pond that I'd failed to notice. One of those gray aliens was right there in the middle of the water. Her horns kind of curved out, and she had these weird fins things coming out of her face where her ears should be. They were pretty punk rock, so I gave a mental nod of approval. "W)(o are you, and w)(y are you so out of breat)(?"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I know I've been updating pretty erratically. But just you wait until Summer, when I will have a metric fuckton of time. Just you wait.

")(ey." The alien chick spoke again. "Are you going to say somet)(ing or just stand t)(ere staring at me?" I raised an eyebrow. I'd only just now gotten here, so I wasn't really sure why she was already asking that I leave. Usually it took at least a short conversation for that to happen. "I guess t)(at answers my question t)(en." There wasn't any getting around it: this girl was impatient. ")(-ELLO! Do you even )(-EAR w)(at I'm saying?"

Shocked out of my internal monologue, I quickly composed myself. "Yeah I hear you. What did you want?" As she slapped her palm into her forehead, I could just tell that she had the potential to truly be punk rock. I wasn't sure if she was there just yet, but I knew she could get there in time.

"I ASK-ED you w)(y you were standing )(ere! People don't usually just run around randomly, so I'd pike to know w)(at the s)(ell you're doing )(ere!" I nodded to myself. She definitely had potential.

"Oh, you know. Just taking a tour of this weird ass alien school."

"But you were running. W)(at was t)(at all about?"

"Oh, you know. Got the popo in hot pursuit is all."

"W)(at t)(e s)(ell is a popo?"

"Man, you know. Popo. The fuzz. Coppers."

"No I don't. Just tell me w)(at you're talking a-trout."

Fuck this girl was dumb. "I'm talking about the goddamn police." I was beginning to doubt my earlier conviction about whether she actually had any punk rock potential.

"We don't )(ave any police )(ere. Pretty s)(ore I'd know if we did."

"For fuck's sake! Of course your stupid fucking alien school doesn't have any fucking police!" At this point I'd recovered from my mad dash through the halls, so I didn't have any reason to stay around. "Man, fuck all you grey fuckers. I'm outta here." I stood up from the bench and gave her the middle finger. After a moment of contemplation, I decided to give her the other one for good measure. Just as I passed back into the building, she spoke up again.

")(-EY! Aren't you at least going to tell me your name?"

"Sure, what the fuck. I'm Laura, pleased to meet you or whatever. Let me guess, you have some shitty alien name like Xenu or something."

")(i Laura, I'm Feferi."

"Goddammit you really do." I muttered under my breath.

"W)(at was t)(at?"

"Nothing. Maybe I'll see you later cement face." I said as I walked out of the garden-courtyard-thing and back into that stupid-ass school.

I still wasn't familiar with this place, so I was really just wandering around. I hoped I'd run into Stacia again, because I wasn't willing to take the chance that all of these aliens were like the one I'd just spoken to. That chick was definitely not punk rock. Any true punk rocker would have to have first-hand experience with the cops.

As I rounded a corner I walked into some kid. He wore glasses and had on some weird blue getup. When we collided he just kind of fell to the floor. My first instinct was to ask him if he was hurt, but hey, I've got an image to keep up. The things I do for the sake of the punk rock lifestyle.

"Hey kid. Watch where you're going." He didn't respond. "Hey asswipe, you listening to me?" He continued to remain silent. I prodded him with my foot. He still didn't move. "Shhhiiiiiiiiit." I'd just arrived in this shithole, it was too early for me to be killing people. I knelt down and felt for a pulse. Thank god, looked like he was still alive. I braced myself, picked him up, and threw him across my shoulder.

I resumed walking around the halls. At least this time I had a real purpose for doing so, I thought to myself. I knocked on every door I passed, but all the rooms were empty. "Goddammit, why is this school so fucking weird?" I paused a bit to make sure that my grip on blueberry boy was steady, and proceeded to the next door.

Nobody answered, but I could hear something going on inside. I tried opening the door, but it was locked. I thought about just continuing on, but sleeping beauty here might have something serious going on, so I figured it was important I get to someone ASAP. So I set him down and took out my trusty lockpick. After all, what kind of punk rocker would I be if I wasn't prepared to break the law whenever the opportunity presented itself?

It didn't take very long to pick the lock, so I could still hear whatever was going on behind the door. I picked up my comatose cargo and opened the door.

I could tell at first glance that it must have been the school infirmary. I was glad not to have to lug around this idiot any longer, so I walked over to one of the beds and just kind of dropped him onto it. In retrospect that might not have been the best idea, but punk rock's about living in the heat of the moment, not extensive foreplanning.

I shifted my gaze to the right, where I could hear the weird noises emanating from. I surreptitiously crept towards the source of the sound, until my path was blocked by a large white curtain. I pulled it aside to reveal a couple of weird-as-fuck creatures, one midnight black and one pure white. The white one was loudly giving the black one a blowjob as he made constant stabbing motions with a large knife.

"Man, what the FUCK is wrong with this god damned school."


End file.
